All women I knew had domestic help, but none of that for me. And I didn’t speak up, because I was raised to believe that good wives don’t complain, don’t rebel, don’t disobey. Tell me, have I ever nurtured such thoughts in you?
My heart broke into pieces. I stood there for a while, silently, guilt-tripping. I wished I could go back to that moment and stop this from happening. I wished I could protect my little one from being in so much pain. I wished I could be more available for him.
All the mothers who are celebrated by their kids are villains in someone’s story, it’s just that you aren’t reading that narration where she isn’t the protagonist.
I thought for a few minutes before I could muster up the courage to speak my mind.
Neeraj knew Tara had been an ardent follower of Page 3 people and was allured by their amazing lifestyle. The showbiz world has always fascinated her and with Tamanna being a part of it, Tara would have direct access to her dream place.
But I also have my meltdowns and my lowest moments. I often do cry for hours, just wondering what will happen to him. This happens mostly after situations when I feel guilty and I feel I failed as a mother when all my efforts to teach him something end in vain. I have heard my relatives discussing my son’s “sickness”. I have heard my mother-in-law blaming my genes. I saw people looking at my kid and being judgemental.
Ma: Fine, it may have happened a couple of times, but this time it’s for real. I’m telling you, I might shit my pants on the flight. You just cancel the ticket, there’s no other way.
Meg’s words had a certain conviction in them. They were so simple and true! What was stopping Neha? Nothing, at least nothing unmanageable. Just one meeting with Meg and Neha felt reassured and empowered.
It’s only recently that I came across the word ‘antifragile’ in one of the books I was reading. It is not the opposite of fragile. It refers to things that gain from disorder or get stronger when harmed. Now that to me felt like a journey worth exploring, from the vulnerability of the ‘Fragile’ to the more-than-resilient acceptance of the ‘Antifragile.’ In fact, I wanted to use my little learning to address one of my most pressing needs of the hour. Parenting.
Her embarrassed mother-in-law, who still had more black than grey hair, often tried to attribute her premature greying to hormonal imbalance caused by the pregnancy. But friends, neighbours, and even complete strangers were not so understanding.
