Being Women

Mothers – How Happy Are They Actually ?

Is Mother’s Day still happy for her? Will those articles and stories on the greatness of mothers make her proud of herself? Will she be able to accept herself wholeheartedly for taking this decision? Will she not doubt her own intentions and abilities as a mother?

Happy Mother’s day, the message is floating everywhere. How great mothers are, how they are the most caring and selfless souls, and how the world would be a different place without them. How they are the most favourite person of every child. 

Amidst all these, there sits a mother, wondering what did she do wrong in life. What did she miss? Why could she not keep her family intact? What is the cause of her pain and helplessness? Could she have done anything differently to give a perfect childhood to her son? Was she selfish? Or irresponsible? Is a mother supposed to sacrifice everything for her children, including her self-respect, to prove her love for them? 

She is a bit tired; tired of listening to ” what have you done ever, for anyone, except thinking about yourself all the time? Why can’t you adjust a little more?” 

Sunita has chosen herself at one point in life. She has prioritised herself, her self-respect, her career, her desires, and her dreams. Being harassed, mentally and physically, for 20 years, she has finally decided to step out of that house, the environment that made her anxious and , once, and for good. She could ultimately muster the courage to live for herself and stand up for her rights, amidst all the societal criticisms and unsolicited pieces of advice. 

Leaving the house meant breaking up the family. And she is the one who has taken the call, But sadly, and naturally, this has made her 16-year-old son confused and exasperated. He now had to make a choice, a choice between his mom and dad, between his old abode, and a new one, between the comfort he is used to, and the struggles her mother will have to go through, between his old school and friends, and starting afresh, all from scratch. 

” What would you want to do Sohan?”, Sunita asked. ” I understand how difficult it must be for you. I am sorry beta, but I couldn’t take it anymore, or else I would have never let you go through this.” 

Sohan sighed. Very less expressive that he is, he didn’t have many things to say. 

” Could you not wait a little more maa, before taking the call? You have been anyway going through this for so long now that you must have been adjusted to this. A few more years of cooperation from your side would give me the time to finish my 12th and move out of this house.” 

This was probably the first time that Sohan spoke so much. He was very clear about what he expected his maa to do. And why not, this was the age when he needed both of them a little more. When their togetherness would give him the confidence and courage to explore newer areas of life. 

” I wish I could Sohan. I tried, for 20 years. But I feel caged and suffocated here. I feel disrespected , unwanted and unloved. If I don’t step out now, I won’t be able to face myself anymore. I need to love myself now, to be able to give it back to you and others. Don’t you think so?” 

” But what about me Maa?” Sohan was a bit absorbed in his own thoughts, about himself, oblivious to what his maa was saying, about her pains and struggles.

” I want you to come with me Sohan. Please understand. We will just not stay under the same roof with dad, but we will stay connected, meet often, talk, laugh, share and care. I believe it will be better than what it is now. Don’t you think so?” Sunita tried to convey what she had in mind, in the simplest of words she could think of. 

Sohan needed time. He wasn’t able to decide and promised to get back in a day or two, after analysing the repercussions of his decision, whichever he chooses. Sunita trusted him to take a call since she believed in his decision-making ability, his maturity, and his sensibility. After all, he was raised by her, and all she could teach him, for all these years, was to stand up for the right. 

Two days went by. All eyes were on him, to know his decision.

” DAD! I will stay with dad, maa, I have nothing more to think about”, very confident and determined he sounded. 

He had his reasons. The dad was the one who could maintain normalcy in his life. He was the one who hadn’t moved out of the relationship. He was the one who could keep everything else in his life intact, without bringing in any change, like his school, his friends, his own room of 15 years, his favourite study table, his old books and toys, and what not. The only thing Sohan would lose or had to let go of, in this process, was his mother, and sadly he could have not done much about it, since Sunita wasn’t willing to change her mind. 

Yes, there was sadness, guilt, apprehensions, self – doubts and helplessness. But Sunita was determined this time, to not go back to that life again, even not for Sohan. She wanted to live once, freely, respectfully and happily, like any human being deserves to. 

“Not easy being a woman”, Sunita thought. “Or be a mother who decides to walk out of the marriage, for her self-respect or because she decides to prioritise herself over anyone else.” 

Her love, dedication, affection, hard work and selflessness for 20 years, went unseen and unnoticed, by everyone. She came across as the selfish one, one who doesn’t care for anyone, even her child, 


Is Mother’s Day still happy for her? Will those articles and stories on the greatness of mothers make her proud of herself? Will she be able to accept herself wholeheartedly for taking this decision? Will she not doubt her own intentions and abilities as a mother? Will she still not crave to be understood, hugged, and acknowledged for being so brave? Will she still not expect and wish for her son to choose her, over his dad, and celebrate Mother’s Day with her? Will she not expect to be celebrated for the beautiful human that she is? 


Mothers – what do we expect them to be? What do we expect them to do? 

Only sacrifices and selflessness will make one a good mother? The ability to live for others, keeping aside one’s own desires and dreams, is what a mother is expected to do? 

Time to ponder on. Time to introspect. Time to change our definitions. Time to change our expectations. Time to make this world a better place for mothers. Time to give them the courage and confidence to stand up for themselves. Time to tell them that they are humans first, and mothers later, and thus can walk out if they don’t feel accepted and loved. 

By Vedaprana Purkayastha

The Founder of The She Saga, The She Saga Foundation and Veda’s, Vedaprana is an Entrepreneur, a Social Worker and an Empowerment Coach. She writes on topics that touch her heart and stirs her soul. She can be contacted at

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One Response

  1. I totally side with the mother’s decision.i know it’s extremely difficult to take such a decision.Most mother’s suffers from mother India syndrome,sacrificing everything for family and children,thinking that this will ensure happiness,but they are proved to be wrong for so many times.ppl may say that it’s easy for me to say as i choose to remain single but i have seen so so many instances that i don’t need a first hand experience to say so.

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