Neha hesitated to answer. It had been almost five years of being on a break now. She had tried to go back to work each time after Myra had crossed a significant milestone. But without much success.
“Jaane kya dhoondta hai yeh mera dil, tujhko kya chahiye zindagi….”
Neha increased the volume of her JBL Bluetooth speaker as it played Lucky Ali’s famous song. There was a nostalgia for this music. It reminded her of the beautiful days when she had just started her career more than a decade ago. Every time the music played, memories came tumbling down from the closets of yesteryears.
Most evenings after 7 pm, as soon as all the managers left, the basement of their software company in Gurgaon used to start bustling with life. Young software engineers, fresh out of college, would increase the volume of their speakers and code thousands of lines into software programs while bobbing their heads along with the beats of music. Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Lucky Ali… they played them all. These were just a small batch of engineers who had made it to the #1 software company on day zero of placements. They were young and full of roar.
Neha often looked back at those times, fondly. Some of those friendships graduated to lifelong bonds as well. Pooja-Prakhar, Deepanita-Harman. In fact, that’s the case with her and Varun as well. They met at the job, and it didn’t take them long to commit for a lifetime. Ah, those were the days!
Ting tong, the doorbell rang. Neha paused her music and went to see who it was. Turned out, her maid was sick and wouldn’t be able to come for the day. Neha looked around her messy apartment. The leftovers from last night’s get-together with Varun’s team reminded her how lively everything was, just a few hours ago. The pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen bore testimony to how much their guests had relished the food. Books still sprawling across the study brought back those interesting conversations she had had with Varun’s bibliophile friends and colleagues last evening.
Neha missed her corporate days. Both she and Varun had always been fortunate enough to get the best of mentors and team. Memories of those times made her smile for a moment. But thoughts of the long, circuitous day immediately ahead of her, dampened her spirit; it would be a difficult day, she sighed. She needed to hurry if Myra had to be picked up from her school on time. And then of course, there was the ballet and arts.
Tedious daily chores and managing the life and well-being of her four-year old, pretty much defined Neha’s days now. Varun did help. But with his new job that involved frequent travelling and many late nights, he wasn’t always available. Whenever Neha spoke about her desire to do something beyond home and their kid, Varun reminded her of their collective decision for Neha to focus homeward to ensure quality parenting for their child. After all, he was bringing in more than enough money, wasn’t he? So, why fall back into the trap of hectic schedules and stringent deadlines that was common in the software industry! Even so, Neha did push for it many times. Without fail, the discussion would eventually take a sour turn. Varun would say a lukewarm ‘OKAY’ after putting the entire responsibility on Neha to ensure a sound support system for Myra and their home, before she ventured out again. Both Neha and Varun knew, that ‘OKAY’ secretly meant ‘BETTER NOT’.
As Neha struggled with this internal consternation as usual, her phone beeped with an incoming message.
Hey Neha, I am travelling to India on a business trip and would be in your city coming Wednesday. Will you be able to meet me? I am staying at Vivanta in Gurgaon. Is that close to where you stay?
Neha smiled because the message was from Meg. Neha used to report to Meg when she had travelled to Texas for a year-long assignment. Because of her competency and excellent performance, Meg had extended her stay by another year. More than a manager, Meg had been a mentor and a guide to her. Together, they had resolved many bugs and handled several difficult customer calls. Meg was a phenomenal woman herself, a mother of two boys who had made no compromises in her career all throughout her life. Her immense trust in Neha’s competency back in the day, had made Neha grow leaps and bounds in her organisation. How could Neha say no to meeting her? She quickly messaged her back.
Yes, of course, Meg, everything works for me.
Great, Neha! Looking forward to seeing you soon:)
After years, Neha felt butterflies in her stomach. What should she wear? What would she talk about with Meg? Should she give her something as a present? Before she knew it, all worries about pending chores and meandering days evaporated from her mind as Neha rushed to scan her closet for the perfect dress. She suddenly felt like dressing up even to pick up Myra from school.
“Good to see you Neha, how have you been?” Meg opened her arms wide, in a hug. Meg had this aura of positivity around her that shone through even in the most difficult of situations. It was infectious, it was electric! The two of them started to talk.
“Neha, do you remember that Huawei Project which you had helped me pitch? We used to handle the calls together?”
“Oh yes, I do. Mr. Ken was the program director from Huawei, right?” Neha quickly replied.
“Yes, yes. Ken was asking about you. He so dearly remembers you.”
Neha’s eyes sparkled with a sense of achievement. It indeed was a challenging project for which Neha had won the ‘Best employee award’, thanks to the excellent feedback from their customer. Seeing Neha reminisce those days with such fondness, Meg finally asked the big question.
“When do you plan to go back to work?”
Neha hesitated to answer. It had been almost five years of being on a break now. She had tried to go back to work each time after Myra had crossed a significant milestone. But without much success. Sometimes it was Varun who discouraged her, other times it was the ever-increasing responsibilities of home. Sometimes, it was just Myra’s health, she’d fall ill every time Neha thought of trying for a new job. After all this Neha had started to feel too weak to think aggressively about going back and had let time pass her by. Now, it had become next to impossible to logically explain her long break to any prospective employer. She felt embarrassed just by thinking about it.
Meg could sense a moment of weakness in Neha’s eyes.
“Neha, you must permit yourself to be back. You know that we are our own limit, right? You are smart, capable, creative. Just take one leap of faith, and everything will fall into place.”
Neha quickly tried to wipe away her tears. No one had called her anything but a good wife and mother in a long, long time. That too, is not without criticism. She looked at Meg, who was sitting right across the table. Meg reached out and held her hands.
“Don’t stop yourself from taking the plunge. Think of obstacles as your allies that motivate you to do better. Defeating them would be a fun challenge, wouldn’t it? You are a brave, competent girl and I know you want it. Go for it!”
Meg’s words had a certain conviction in them. They were so simple and true! What was stopping Neha? Nothing, at least nothing unmanageable. Just one meeting with Meg and Neha felt reassured and empowered.
Five months later Neha opened her mail to pen down an email –
From – neha@wirednetworks.com
To – meg.keith@ti.com
Dear Meg,
I am writing to share some good news with you. Do you remember our meeting a few months ago? Those couple of hours with you meant the world to me, it instilled in me the courage and faith I badly needed at that time. After that day, I finally managed to put all the pieces of the puzzle together and went for it. It’s been a month since I’ve started working at my new job, and I am enjoying it thoroughly.
Thank you for being a shining light in my life. I owe you one:)
Warmly,
Neha
Neha clicked on Send and put her headphones on, inside her cubicle. It was time to review the code that her mentee had just sent in. She had an hour before picking up Myra from the daycare next door. She smiled as her favourite Lucky Ali song started to play…
Dekha hai aise hi, kisi ko aise hi
Hanste hansaate yun sab ko manaate hum jaayenge
Barson ki doori ko milake hum saath mitayenge
Pyaar rahe unke liye jo dhoonde woh unko mileAuthor’s Note – The short story is a tribute to all those women who go the extra mile to support other women employees in their teams. When they do this, they become exceptional role models for their juniors to respect and emulate, thus creating lifelong bonds.
By Anjali Gurmukhani Sharma
Anjali G Sharma is a writer, educator and a development sector enthusiast. She leads Education initiatives at Charter for Compassion, India. She is also a partner with Delhi Government Education Team on the largest mentorship program Desh Ke Mentor. She can be contacted at anj.gur@gmail.com
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