Marriage is one such topic that can either divide or unite various people. I am very excited to attend the weddings of three of my dear friends next year. I look forward to being a part of their happiness. But at the same time, it is going to increase the pressure on me to get married. It is like a virus that spreads all over the mind. “Your friends are getting married, don’t you want to as well?” Umm… NO. I have not yet found the right person.
But in our society, it is not about marrying the right individual but marrying at the correct age.
Coming from a diverse land with the largest population in the world, you are made to rush into marriage and procreate.
What I fail to understand is that when a girl is born, one of the first things to cross the minds of parents is the day she’ll get married. All my life, I have been told to pay attention to my studies and to excel academically. And then, just when I entered my mid-20s, all those thoughts about education being the top priority flushed down the drain. The focus shifts entirely to getting me married. I am 27, but at times I am made to realize that I am running very late to board a train that I don’t wish to go on. It is like a ticking time bomb.
GET SETTLED, GET MARRIED
And have kids as soon as possible. You have all your life to know your spouse, but first, do produce the baby. Your biological clock is ticking. If you don’t get married within a year or two, you will end up being a spinster. Another comment that I often get to hear is, “Travel all you want but with your husband.” I mean, why? Why can’t I travel solo? Why is it that I am not yet old enough to be myself and take responsibility for my own life, but old enough that I am ready to be married? You are told to stay away from strangers throughout your life, but it is okay to get married to one. IRONY is at its peak.
It is like your worth is based on how you look, how you cook, and who you get married to. And, oh! Let’s not forget your value is equal to the amount of money you are willing to spend on a wedding, not upon who you are. After all, log kya kahenge? So, be ready to give a lot of cash, gold jewelry, and the endless list of things that are part of dowry. Being a single child, my parents are often told that they should be ready to give me the best clothes, jewelry, and other things for my marriage. It’s like the higher the dowry, the higher the status in society. They are told, “They have one child after all, whatever is yours is hers. So, spend it all.” And the stares you get when you say that you want to marry a guy who doesn’t wish to take any dowry!
What is the point of me being educated if I can’t fight for my basic rights, be it saying “NO” to marriage at the present moment or saying “NO” to dowry?
Recently, my parents asked me to make a biodata, so that it can be shown to prospective grooms. Well, I have not started preparing one, nor do I intend to anytime soon. I feel marriage should not be bound by any age, race, or caste barrier. What it needs is mental stability and being comfortable with the idea of spending your life with someone. Marry only when you are ready to share your personal space with someone. Don’t bow down to societal pressures.
I don’t know how to come to an end with this article. I guess because marriage is an endless topic, and we can just go on and on about it. There is no end to it. I would like to conclude by saying, Marry Late, but Don’t Marry Early and end up being sorry. Remember, society will always have something to say. If they are looking down at you today, they will continue doing that even in the future, in case your marriage doesn’t work out and you end up being a divorcee. Coz apparently in our society, staying in a bad marriage is better than spending your life alone. So, girls, know your worth and take a stand for yourself because it is only you who can do that, and no one else.
LOVE AND LIVE TO THE FULLEST, MY DEAR!!
Editor’s Note : This article is one of the entries for #TheShe Contest.
Sonali Swain
Sonali Swain is a Freelance Content writer from Delhi. She wishes to be an IFS Officer and is preparing for the Civil Services currently. She can be reached at sonaliankita18@gmail.com.
3 Responses
Marriage is a union of two individuals and families. It’s incorrect to assume it’s not going to work. Today, the girls are clear in their approach as what they want, their priorities in life. There is no hurry but to keep trying to find a companion who’s a friend, partner, respectful and most importantly an educated person.
You’ve raised some valid points Sonali. Marriage can be beautiful In itself if it is rooted in equality and genuine care. But a bride is burdened beyond words if her parents are spending a lot of money on the wedding, often times that is done with taking extra loans. The girl might feel pressured to stay in the marriage both because of such loans and the flak her parents would get from society if she chooses to leave a bad marriage. Well pointed out!
Marriage is not the only way to find happiness,yet its not always a complete disaster.its how you carry out your relationship with your partner without being compromised (well sometimes either of you need to do) just like any other relationship.Getting married at “”certain age” is never a wrong idea.