In this article, I would like to throw some light on how the pandemic changed life for everyone, but for students, it brought a different kind of exhaustion—one that was silent and difficult to explain.
At times, I can’t help but think about the lockdown days. All of us are under house arrest. My room became my classroom, library, examination hall, and resting place all at once. There was no clear boundary between studying and living anymore.
Every day followed the same routine. I would wake up, stare at a laptop screen for hours, attend online lectures, and prepare for exams. Even though it was a dreadful period, it was one of those times when I really got to do what I loved. Reading and drawing. Small pleasures that do wonders. Several hours of study for government exams would leave me constantly drained, with strained eyes and a disturbed sleep cycle.
I started feeling mentally exhausted. Constant studying would make me feel unmotivated. I would sit with books open in front of me, but I had a hard time focusing and memorising. The pressure to perform well during such an uncertain time became overwhelming. Some days, even small tasks felt difficult. I stopped feeling excited about learning. I stopped feeling excited about anything.
Once the lockdown was announced and with the postponement of the exams, I was relieved for a while. I still remember how I started feeling like myself all over again when I started writing, reading and drawing. A moment of pure bliss. Writing would make me feel alive. Drawing would give meaning to my ordinary days. Reading would actually feel like joy rather than just flipping through pages to gain knowledge for cracking an exam.
It did not happen dramatically. One evening, after spending hours studying, I picked up a notebook lying on my desk and started writing random thoughts. Just started writing about what I felt, how I missed meeting my friends, attending lectures at the university, going out for movies and about how the break that we all wished to take was now given to us in the form of the lockdown, but all that silence made it deafening. Silence filled with chaos, where people were losing their lives, and the ones alive were filled with uncertainty as to how long they would live.
Books that were long stacked up in the racks were finally read. They became my companions. Reading helped me escape the uncertain reality. I remember reading a book right before sleeping. It made me feel at ease.
When it came to drawing, it all began when I was cleaning my drawer and found my pack of crayons and box of paints all stacked up in a corner. The intention was never to create perfect art.
but to draw something simple, something meaningful that would give my mind rest from constant studying.
Slowly, I began noticing changes within myself. I was no longer trapped in an endless cycle of studying and stress. Little things like finishing a chapter so that I could read my novel afterwards, sketching while listening to soft music at night, were things that helped me reconnect with myself. Reading, writing, and sketching remind me how important it is for us to pause and rewind once in a while.
Small acts of personal care can do wonders. Today, when I look back at that phase of my life, it’s not just the myriad thoughts of stress and uncertainty, but it’s the sketches that quietly carried my emotions when words became difficult, the notebook filled with midnight thoughts, and the comfort of books during lonely evenings.
Creativity helped me find my voice again, not by doing something extraordinary, but through ordinary moments of honesty, imagination, and self-expression. And perhaps that is the most beautiful thing about creativity. It heals people gently, one page, one sketch, and one story at a time.
Sonali Swain
Sonali Swain is a Freelance Content writer from Delhi. She wishes to be an IFS Officer and is preparing for the Civil Services currently. She can be reached at sonaliankita18@gmail.com.
