The moment the twenty-third chromosome is an XX, a She is born. But whether she will survive or not, depends on her destiny and descent. If she is lucky to live, inadvertently, she has signed up for a life of prejudice and pain. Propriety and priorities are expected to define her; more often than not, she will emerge as a patchwork of many and most, and never a Self that is inviolate.
But does that delineate The She of today?
We hear of women shattering the glass ceilings and women’s empowerment is the talk of the day, yet the abuse and atrocities that are inflicted on them are persistently prevalent. At this moment itself. Deep down, we know that perhaps now, more than ever before is the time to confront the realities of our women in the diverse domains before we bury them with singular stories of surge and success.
There is a little She in most of our homes. As she grows up, her power and passion blossom, and soon enough, she is subject to offhand discipline and discrimination to curb her essence. Sometimes deliberately but often without a thought. Her spontaneous spirit is slowly and systematically crushed by telling her everything. How to sit, stand, eat, sleep, play, behave, dress, talk, mingle and even desire or dream! Every truant is subdued and silenced till she can no longer appreciate and assert herself.
I had once seen a demure She on a crowded train. The teenager was so cramped that she could scarcely move. An abominable man stood behind, groping her as she tried hard to use her elbows to push him away. Her efforts to stamp her assaulter’s toes were equally in vain but not an expression of exasperation escaped her lips.
Struggles are meant to be silent; she was surely taught and trained.
In colleges and universities too, young women deal will similar predicaments. They often have to face inappropriate advances from reputed, erudite professors, who refuse to give them their deserving grades or approve their theses until their Machiavellian instincts are placated. There again, women are coerced into acts that clearly lack consent and conscience.
One such woman could eventually become a docile and dutiful wife and mother. The husband, a successful man with a loud demeanour, might blatantly perpetrate domestic violence against her but the poor, submissive victim is unable to even acknowledge it.
Her children could demean her and relentlessly expose her to derogatory remarks.
We do witness women in such situations often but prefer to adopt an air of nonchalance. Why? It is because there is no sign of physical assault, which leaves scars and marks behind? Or are we insensitive to the ruthless tirade of abuse and indifference that causes tear and trauma that can neither be hidden nor healed?
That makes me wonder, do women today, share the fate of the fabled baby elephant? In the fable, the elephant, who tethered to a tree once, refused to recognise her potential as she grew up and remained fettered forever. A scant shake would have shattered the sham of the shackles only if she had summoned her slightest strength!
As a sequel, there emerges a dark-hued damsel, who despite being a successful professional uses light filters when posting pictures with her fair-skinned fiancé. She is agreeable to experimenting with treatments too, which could spell outrageous outcomes for her.
Alas, the age-old notion that only the fair is free to feel beautiful has been deeply ingrained in her!
Despite being self-assured and solvent, there are women, who accept dowry and domination, abuse and alienation, polygamy and persecution as upshots of worthy unions. Only if they could unmask themselves and realise that it was time to banish the beasts and build their bastions to experience the beauty that evolved from leading lives of liberty and latitude.
At workplaces, the situation is worse for certain. Women maybe pragmatic, proficient and work with zeal for progress and promotion. But they have to encounter too many bars and deterrents every single day. The gaze that pierces through, the touch that nauseates, the words that wound, the grouping up that isolate and the treatment that violates their very presence. The list is indeed exhausting and endless.
The moment one is resolute to retort and retaliate, she is molested, mauled and, if need be, mutilated! Once again, she is silenced while sundry others raise their voices till duty calls and dust settles. And then, another vagina is destined for the sacrificial altar while we are left to be petrified by the diabolical nature of humans and their heinous intent.
Nonetheless, a painful probe percolates through our heads and hearts. Are these women living embodiments of THE SHE we worship and venerate? Do they symbolise the positive feminine energy that annihilates evil and ushers in goodness? If so, then where is the power and why can they not protect themselves? Perhaps, they are distorted versions of the invincible primordial entity, which we have created through ages of delusion and debasement.
At a time when ‘Abhayas’ abound, let us seek inspiration and supplicate to the most formidable forms of the ‘Devi’. May She bestow on us the courage to face every challenge and strength to safeguard ourselves from malevolent forces. May She empower us to secure the sustenance from within to obliterate every evil that threatens the She and throttles her existence.
Only then can we resurrect The She, who was created to manifest contraries in individuality and greatness in grace.
It is a collective call to heal humanity and restore it to its untainted and exalted state. A society in which, The She is conceded not as a gender but an identity in its own right.
Let us resuscitate ourselves to build a world where the ‘I’ is prioritised over the ‘eye’ and THE SHE is seen within every she.
Editor’s Note : This article was submitted for the #TheShe Contest.
By Promita Banerjee Nag
An avid word enthusiast and content-churner, Promita is fuelled by novel writings, ideas and light-hearted banter. A teacher by passion, she treads the path of unequivocal learning with and through her students. Mother, music and ‘mishti’ mostly convince her. If you wish for a tête-à-tête, feel free to reach out to her at promita033@gmail.com.
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