Isn’t it already one-year post-marriage? Is it your problem? Or is the problem with him? You can consult a good doctor. I know one such doctor. I will WhatsApp you the details once I reach home.
You have been married for six months, right? Any luck?Oh! Your son is already four years old. Are you not planning for a second child? It is best to keep the age difference between the kids at four. You are already too late to try for a second child.
The next-door aunties nosing around in your life are a usual scene in an Indian household. Be it in a village or a metropolitan city, the social concept of getting married on time and giving birth to a child on time is not different.
The question is, isn’t it the woman’s choice when to get married and when to get pregnant? It is when she is prepared both physically and mentally that she should get pregnant.
Motherhood has turned into a social obligation
But mostly, parental and societal pressure pushes a woman towards marriage and then motherhood. Motherhood is considered the benchmark of womanhood. We are asked to dream BIG. But her success in her career is always undermined if she is childless, for it is motherhood that makes women complete, according to society. So, motherhood has turned into a social obligation for many women rather than a personal choice.
Motherhood is also a struggle
Social responsibility ends with pressuring a woman into motherhood. But the real struggle for a woman starts once the child comes to earth. The end of maternity leave marks the beginning of a new struggle for mothers. The mental struggle of being separated from her child as well as the responsibility of taking care of one’s child. Only a few women are privileged enough to get support from their parents in taking care of their children. The rest of them are forced to sign their papers with broken hearts. We can see that post-COVID, there has been a huge drop in women employees since the work-from-home option has come to an end.
Sara’s : The movie
As pointed out in the movie Sara’s, it is better not to be parents than to be bad parents. Only when it is her choice will she be a better parent. Sara’s is a Malayalam movie that stirred up conversations on the topic of abortion and careers. Even though abortion and career are not at all related, this story threw light on the concept of a woman’s right to her body.
| Directed by | Jude Anthany Joseph |
|---|---|
| Written by | Akshay Hareesh |
| Produced by | P. K. Murali DharanSantha Murali |
| Starring | Anna BenSunny Wayne |
| Cinematography | Nimish Ravi |
| Edited by | Riyas K. Badhar |
| Music by | Shaan Rahman |
| Production company | Anantha Visions |
| Distributed by | Amazon Prime Video[1] |
| Release date | 5 July 2021[2] |
| Running time | 118 minutes |
| Country | India |
| Language | Malayalam |
A movie offering a different opinion
Our movie industry has always focused on the deification of motherhood. This is where Sara’s is a different movie experience. The movie shows the struggles of a newlywed, especially a woman, to be a reproducing machine. It is a refreshing tale of Sara and Jeevan, who fell in love after realising that they both shared the same sentiment about parenthood. Yes. You read it right.
Sara, from her school days on, was not at all interested in getting pregnant. She was always a career-oriented woman who wanted to become a movie director. She met Jeevan at his sister’s home when Sara visited her for a discussion about her debut movie. She got attracted to him only after realising that he shared the same sentiment about parenthood.
After their marriage, when his mother made a ruckus when she got to know about their decision to not have a child, Jeevan stood for Sara, stating that “responsibility is more with women. So it is her decision.” The WOW moment. But things changed when she accidentally got pregnant.
The pressure eventually ate up both Jeevan and Sara and their happily ever after wedding turned into a bitter one. Jeevan started dreaming of being a father when Sara was struggling to achieve her dream of being a director. As she points out to her father, Jeevan has already settled into his career when Sara is still struggling. She is at a point where she could either achieve her dream of being a director or fall into the societal and family pressure to continue her pregnancy, which for a career-oriented woman like Sara is going to be a nightmare for her life ahead.
A woman’s choice for her body
The movie moves towards a refreshing phase when the gynaecologist educates both of them about parenting and the importance of a woman’s choices for her body. When Indian movies always highlight abortion as something heinous, the doctor here points out that it is better not to be a parent than a bad parent since parenthood is a huge responsibility. He enlightens Jeevan as well as us about the fact that abortion is a woman’s legal right.
A happy mother with a happy kid or an unhappy mother with a struggling kid?
As pointed out earlier, parenthood is a huge responsibility. Hence, if a woman is not ready to be a parent, it is better not to force it on her. We will have to witness an unhappy mother ever since. Let her be a happy mother with a happy kid rather than an unhappy mother with a struggling kid.
Note: I am never against motherhood, but for me, it is never the benchmark of my womanhood. (I myself am a happy mother of a four-year-old boy who learned to ignore the bitter comments from the so-called well-wishers.)
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