No, I won’t write anything about the verdict. Good, bad, fair, unfair, none of it. Rather, what I’d like to write about today is an incident that happened a few years ago, when I was a newbie in TVM. It was 31st of 2021, when we all gathered in a resort, chilling over the setting sun, the gorgeous sea breeze, drinks in hand and loads of conversations. That’s when this Dileep-Bhavna topic came up.
I had a fair idea about it. I didn’t want to comment on who was the bad guy considering the courts were doing their job. But what I did know was this: that whatever happened to Bhavna was ghastly and utterly deplorable. And it takes a lot of courage to come out as a survivor to fight for justice.
That’s when someone, a man who claims to be progressive, quipped: “but she was his keep!” Wow. Slow clap. I said, “doesn’t matter if she was his keep or not. What matters is consent. And what happened to her was sexual assault!”
Wife, keep, girlfriend, lover, none of these relations give any right to the man to violate her. Because all forms of physical intimacy is grounded in consent. The man does not own the woman’s body. Something this progressive man, I believe, forgot.
If that was not enough, this progressive man’s wife added, “all these feminist actresses use feminism as an excuse to sleep around with their co-stars.” Wow. Slow clap, again. As if, as colleagues they do not have anything to do like discuss the script, production issues, countless problems that need fire-fighting, etc but only just focus on some sexual gratification. Wow!
Obviously the “progressive” couple have clearly missed the plot of progressiveness. They do not understand consent. That women must have autonomy over their bodies. That once they are in a relationship with a man, it does not mean they have handed over the ownership of their bodies to him!
The “progressive” couple only understand that a relationship between two people of the opposite sex can be physical. Sorry, we are animals. So when a man sees a woman alone, in a room, alone, the only thought is to overpower her sexually. Feminism has only facilitated this! Wow!
I was disgusted at the conversation. So walked away. But today, when the verdict is out, it took me back to that New Year’s Eve, where I witnessed misogyny play out like an ugly tune. Guilty, not guilty, that’s not the highlight here. I see this case as a watershed moment for Malayalam film industry where one survivor’s courage shook the silence around sexual harassment, the silence around patriarchal violence, the silence around power structures that intimidate and subjugate women. Let this be a moment of reckoning that power structures create violence, gross sexual violence in many cases, that ought to be addressed.
And for the self-proclaimed “progressive” lot, well, you are the scum that I’d like to stay away from. Consent is non-negotiable. And the next time, you as a woman are able to vote, to file a case of harassment and have a legal recourse, to legally save your daughter from an abusive marriage, oh the list is endless, maybe a small thank-you to feminists would be nice; feminists who took to the streets to ensure IPCs are in place, the judiciary is supportive of women’s rights. And also, if a man and a woman are attracted to each other, then it’s their personal choice to get intimate. Because sex between two consenting adults is not a crime. Please underline consent. And do not use feminism as an excuse to spread your vitriol and sick mindset.
By Anasuya Sreedhar
Anasuya Shreedhar is a writer with a keen interest in food, exploring its relationship with gender and caste. She had a PhD in Women’s and Gender Studies from Ambedkar University, Delhi and currently teaches Gender Studies to MA students at IGNOU.
