Overcoming social conditioning of believing everything that we were told as girls
I have always been drawn to women who could think and do something out of the ordinary. Women who do not fall into the tropes created by mainstream and refuse to be confined into moulds created by others. Things their upbringing did not teach them as appropriate, but they felt was correct according to the situations life created. Women who have risen above their position and created a niche in this world even when the odds were stacked against them.
Women breaking social moulds
They rose beyond what they had been taught to be right and wrong. They made decisions and were bold enough to see them through. These individuals fit into society in their own spaces or at times shape the society to match their viewpoint. The society may view many of them as rule-breaking troublemakers, but I tend to think of them as path forgers who are breaking the shackles that culture has metaphorically long since tied women with.
What makes these ladies so incredibly special in my eyes? For starters, they have an aura which is difficult to explain, but which makes itself felt in the way the world reacts to their presence. They have paved the way for many others who have followed in their footsteps and have walked so some others could run.
Torchbearers we may or may not know
It is the time of British Rule in India, and a princely state has just lost its king. The British are eager to pounce and assert authority on their kingdom, as the king left no natural heir and the Doctrine of Lapse had made it illegal for adopted heirs to take over. Rose, a mother, a wife, a queen like no other. She not only led her soldiers into armed conflict but stood as a symbol of hope and valour to thousands who were tottering and being subjugated. She died a martyr, and in that, she left a legacy that stays alive till today.
A girl marrying the person she loves realizes just before her pheras that the groom’s family is asking for a substantial dowry from her parents, not relevant really if they are capable/incapable of paying the same. She is aghast and brings it to her to-be husband’s notice, who nonchalantly whispers back, why are you getting into this? My parents are only trying to secure our future. She feels shocked, betrayed, and helpless for a moment, but decides not to go ahead with the wedding and instead stands by her family values, rejects the husband, and walks out.
An actress, an epitome of beauty who made India famous globally and won accolades for her intellect and smartness. Crowned Miss Universe at a time when beauty brands did not automatically decide winners and backed them. When she decides to break stereotypes and adopt not one but two girls to bring up with love and affection, give them the gift of opportunity and privilege, she showed the world that the crown was placed not just on a pretty head, but responsible shoulders.
Breaking gender stereotypes to become the first lady IPS Officer in 1972, she went on to bring about a transformation in Delhi’s notorious Tihar jail by focusing on rehabilitation and education of prisoners. Her fearless leadership and honest policing won her the 1994 Ramon Magsaysay Award.
A girl wears a uniform and stands with the rest of the armed forces, having crossed all hurdles of family rebuke, emotional manipulation from worries, because she wants to be a brave soldier for her country.
These are just a few women we know or have heard of.
Can every one of us be a Rani Laxmibai or a Kiran Bedi? Probably not. But can we all stand up and rise to be counted? Claim our places not by virtue of inheritance but by deserving and owning the challenges. Yes, we can. And that is what all these women and many more have taught us.
In childhood we were conditioned in middle-class families to believe that the man is the leader and hunter while women as gatherers and help raise the children. Men and women had different non-intersecting domains, and the families were functioning in a society which is not longer in sync with the demands of today. When the woman of today drives, runs a family, pays the school fees and files the family’s IT returns , her partner can be one who takes up tasks like feeding the baby at night, attending PTMs, cooking dinner if he gets home early. No work is tagged to any gender, and no task is big or small enough not to be picked up by either.
Be equal – Support and protect each other
As always, can we not respect each other and build bridges toward equality rather than compete in a world which is not gender specific to start with?
Let us celebrate the in-your-face woman, the bold and loud woman, the soft and demure woman, the unmarried/separated/divorced/widowed woman since her status does not come close to defining her worth. Let us create a country that protects all its people and let us punish those that come between that safety and commits a crime against them.
Those women who overcame their fear and inhibitions to try and do the right thing. Only then, will all those women have won.
Manobina Nanda Ganguly
Manobina is a Computer Engineer by profession, working for over two decades. An avid reader since childhood, she loves reading both fictions and non fictions. She can be reached at manobina@gmail.com.
