The greatest inheritance is not always a financial inheritance. The most profound and lasting inheritance often isn’t monetary at all. It’s the intangible legacy passed down through generations – the values, ideologies, and even the innate predispositions that seem to be woven into our very DNA.
Every Saturday morning, I watch a young man patiently teaching his daughter to swim. It’s a scene that instantly transports me back to my childhood mornings, when Baba would religiously take us for a swim before office. It was for him that I learnt to float. I mastered the backstroke and even the freestyle.
And swimming is just one small part of the countless lessons he taught me.
The Power of a Smile
They say Baba could dazzle anyone with his handsome smile. And he began every day with one. He was never the moody type, no matter how disturbed or preoccupied he might have been, he never let it show. Instead, he remained consistently polite and gentle with everyone. This made him very popular among friends, family, and relatives. Just like him, I make sure to start each day anew with a forced smile. I have seen how that smile genuinely reaches everyone around me.
Silence as a Tool
Calm and quiet by nature, he seldom raised his voice. When angry or irritated, he would simply fall silent, his smile vanishing – and that alone was enough for everyone to understand his displeasure. He tried hard to instill in us the important virtues of tolerance and patience.
A Romantic at Heart
Baba, a true romantic, wasn’t shy about PDA. n arm around my mother’s shoulders, a hand clasped in hers, an open declaration of his admiration for Ma – he never failed to appreciate her and took immense pride in her. Every time he travelled, he wrote long letters to her which often arrived after he did. And each trip brought a sari, carefully chosen by him. He knew exactly which colours best complemented her, and he was always generous with his praise. Like a child, he would even ask Ma to wear a particular shade, convinced it enhanced her complexion.
But it wasn’t just gifts or words; he prioritized quality time. Evenings were theirs alone. After her day’s chores, Ma would wait for him to return from the plant. In our garden, two chairs, a table, a flask of chai, and two cups awaited them. I have always believed in their love and admired their intimacy.
The Gift of Gratitude
Baba taught me the importance of gratitude. He constantly reminded us never to forget our debts – the debt of gratitude. “No matter what,” he would repeatedly tell us, “Always remember the good deeds a person has done for you.” He believed that in any difficult situation, one should always weigh those good deeds, then forgive and move on.
“Forgive and move on, but NEVER forget!” That single principle was Baba’s greatest teaching. He was a truly forgiving man, kind and sincere, who wouldn’t even hurt a fly.
The Ultimate Test of Forgiveness
Even when Laalu, the guard dog, bit him in confusion and wouldn’t let go, Baba lay there, faint from the blood loss and pain. He kept murmuring, “It’s not his fault.” But that was just a dog, acting on instinct. What about the humans who deliberately chose to hurt him? His own family who deceived him? He never blamed them. Instead, he blamed the underlying greed. He would simply say, “It’s a blunder, and humans are prone to them. Forgive and move on!”
He did exactly that when his own people turned against him. He chose forgiveness, welcoming them back with open arms. At times, I truly believe he was a saint, sent to teach us a lesson in forgiveness, tolerance, and patience.
The Daughters’ Struggle
We, his daughters, haven’t achieved even an ounce of what he taught us. We try hard to forget the misdoings against Baba, and we say we have forgiven, yet negative thoughts still linger in our hearts. The “if onlys” continue to haunt us.
It’s a herculean task to live by Baba’s teachings. Every year, on his birthday and the anniversary of his passing, we remind ourselves to be true to his words.
The lesson of how to stay afloat amidst a sea of misgivings, misunderstandings, and outright misdoings is a legacy we will carry, strive for, and remember always. It’s a constant challenge, but one that grounds us in his wisdom.
By Sreemati Sen
Sreemati Sen holds a Masters in Social Work from Shantiniketan. A Development Professional,
she has specialized in Psychiatric Care of Differently-abled children. Years of experience in
Social and Consumer Research are also a part of her portfolio. Her stories have been featured in
various anthologies.
She can be contacted at Sreemati123p@gmail.com.
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