Being Women

Move Beyond Exams And Marks: Breaking Free Of Societal Pressure

Society puts unhealthy pressure on students and parents regarding exam results. Its important to be sensitive and supportive.

(It’s that time of the year when the examinations are in full swing. Every class is facing their annual examination, including the board exams for Tenth and Twelfth grade. It’s time to remind everyone…)


Pressure of the public

If they want to share with you the happy news they will call/ WhatsApp / message / put up posts on Facebook, Instagram, etc. It is up to them whether they want to share or not.

If they do not want to share and are lying low, do not encroach on their space and poke your noses into something which is strictly not your business. If you are so worried about the results of their offspring, let me tell you that you should not be. You can take up some other worthy cause to worry about. Leave the parents and their children alone. 

There are so many teenagers preparing for their tenth, twelfth, and entrance exams, who are worried about the reaction of the nosy public than what low marks can do to their future. I have seen quite a few teenagers losing sleep and appetite over the results these last few weeks, and they are more worried about the reaction of parents who, in turn, are worried about the public reactions. As a society, we should unlearn this habit.

The Three Categories of Post-Result Callers

The people who call after results fall into three categories in my experience:

The Ghouls Who Feed on Misery

They want to drink in the misery of the parent and child who did not do well. They thrive on that. If you tell them that the child has done well, they disconnect after muttering some inanities. If you tell them that the child has not done well, they are in full steam. They make all the necessary sounds indicating sympathy for the parents. They egg the parents on and turn them against the child. They are the worst.

The Comparers Seeking Bragging Rights

They want to compare the results of your child vs. theirs. If your child is lower in the ranking scale, they make some commiserating noises and tell you the marks of their offspring in a voice which can barely hide their glee. If your child is above theirs they can’t wait to end the conversation. They will never be seen on your radar thereafter. They will just disappear.

The Really curious and the well-wishers

They want to know how your child has done. There is no malicious intent. They are a minority. They want to hear that your child has done well. But their calls come at the most inconvenient time. When the parents and child may be huddled together consoling each other. So, my word to them is to hold on to their curiosity and their good nature in check. If they really must know the result, wait for a couple of days and then call when things are calmer. It is always best not to call at all.

To Parents – Unconditional Love matters the most!

And a word to the parents, the marks and the results are strictly your business. You do not need anyone’s validation. You do not need to justify yourselves or to go into long-winded explanations. Just tell them off. Whatever their marks are, your children deserve your unconditional love and support. They are not their marks. Give them your shoulder to cry on. Hold them close.

To Students: You Did Your Best, Keep Going!

And dear children, you have done your best. And if you have not, then there is always the next time. This is not the end of the world. Your journey is just beginning. And let it be an adventure to be savored.


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