In the age of social media, where every aspect of our lives is under scrutiny, one topic remains curiously undiscussed: money, or rather, the lack of it. We freely discuss and dissect various stereotypes, but when it comes to financial constraints, we suddenly become tight-lipped. Why is it that we hesitate to admit we can’t afford a new dress or skip a social gathering due to financial limitations? Instead, we concoct elaborate excuses: “I have prior commitments,” “I’m not feeling well,” “I need to take my child to class,” or “My in-laws might feel offended.” These excuses seem easier to swallow, but they’re often rooted in the fear of being judged.
The Facade of Glamour
Social media has exacerbated this issue. Every post, every picture, and every story seems to scream perfection – glamorous lifestyles, expensive outfits, and exotic vacations. We compare our behind-the-scenes moments to everyone else’s highlight reels, and it’s easy to feel like we’re not measuring up. We start to believe that everyone around us is living a more luxurious life, and that we’re somehow failing by not being able to keep up. Meanwhile, many of us struggle to keep up appearances, feeling like we’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of inadequacy. We end up making excuses to avoid awkward conversations about money, and in the process, we sacrifice genuine connections and friendships.
The Cost of Silence
These excuses might seem harmless, but they can have far-reaching consequences. When we’re not honest about our financial limitations, we’re forced to maintain a facade that can be exhausting and stressful. We’re constantly worried about being found out, or judged for not being able to afford something. This can lead to feelings of anxiety and inadequacy, which can seep into other areas of our lives. Moreover, these excuses can break friendships, weaken bonds, and erode trust. When we’re not honest with others, we’re not giving them the opportunity to understand and support us. We’re instead creating unnecessary distance between us and others, and potentially missing out on meaningful relationships.
The Misconception of Affordability
It’s essential to recognize that having a certain standard of living doesn’t necessarily mean we can afford luxuries. Just because someone owns a car or lives in a spacious flat doesn’t mean they’re in a position to splurge on expensive outings or lavish gifts. We’re often not poor, but that doesn’t mean we’re rich either. We’re somewhere in between, navigating our financial priorities and making conscious decisions about how we spend our money. Social media puts pressure on us in ways we can’t even explain, making us feel like we’re not doing enough or not living up to expectations.
Normalizing Financial Honesty
It’s time to change this narrative. Saying “I can’t afford it” should be as normal as saying “I’m busy.” It’s not something to be ashamed of; it’s a simple statement of fact. We’ve worked hard for our money, and it’s ours to spend (or not spend) as we see fit. The fear of being laughed at or judged shouldn’t dictate our conversations. By being honest about our financial limitations, we’re not only being true to ourselves, but also giving others the opportunity to be understanding and supportive.
Breaking the Silence
I’m guilty of this too. I often skip social gatherings because I don’t feel like splurging ₹2,500-₹3,000 every month just to attend. But do I say it out loud? Rarely. I, like many others, fear being judged or pitied. But what if we flipped the script? What if we started to see financial honesty as a sign of strength, rather than weakness? What if we celebrated our ability to prioritize our spending and make conscious financial decisions? By breaking the silence around money, we can start to build stronger, more honest relationships.
A Collective Effort
This change won’t happen overnight, but it can start with small steps. Let’s make it okay to talk about money, or the lack of it, without fear of judgment. Let’s create a space where we can be honest about our financial limitations, without being shamed or pitied. Let’s celebrate our financial resilience and resourcefulness. By doing so, we might just find that we’re not alone in our financial struggles, and that together, we can create a more supportive and understanding community.
The Power of Vulnerability
When we share our true selves, including our financial struggles, we open ourselves up to vulnerability. But it’s in this vulnerability that we find connection and community. By being honest about our financial limitations, we’re giving others the opportunity to share their own struggles, and to offer support and understanding. We’re creating a space for genuine connections to form, and for meaningful relationships to grow. So, let’s take a deep breath and be honest about our finances. Let’s break the silence and build stronger, more honest relationships. Let’s make it okay to say “I can’t afford it,” and let’s celebrate our financial resilience and resourcefulness.
By Vedaprana Purkayastha
The Founder of The She Saga, The She Saga Foundation and Veda’s, Vedaprana is an Entrepreneur, a Social Worker and an Empowerment Coach. She writes on topics that touch her heart and stirs her soul. She can be contacted at vedaprana.p@gmail.com
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