Friends: The Family We Choose
The best time to make friends is before you need them. When one is asked to write about friendship, it feels like a topic so close to the heart and so wonderfully omnipresent in our lives that we expect to fill pages effortlessly.
But that doesn’t always happen.
Instead, what often happens is that we start reminiscing, especially as we age, about the beautiful moments we’ve spent with those dear to us.
Men and women, boys and girls, entered our lives at various stages of our journey and made our lives more enriched and navigable. The earliest memories of friends are from kindergarten and nursery school, where a shared giggle could create inseparable bonds. As we grew older, we bonded over shared loves—books, teachers, games, TV shows, clothes… the list is endless.
But the most noteworthy feature? Friends are people we choose to be with—without guidance, without compulsion, and in our innocence, without any motive.
A True Friend Lights Up A Lifetime
Are we still in touch with all our childhood friends? What about those from adulthood? Maybe not. But do we still remember them?
Absolutely. We remember them until our last breath.
All the dearest friends I’ve made in my life have entered my heart and expanded it, making it a little larger. Some taught me to stand up for myself, some taught me confidence, some taught me to laugh out loud, and others taught me how to deal with fear… the list is endless! But they all made me a better version of myself.
One of my dearest friends from college was a bully whom I taught tolerance, and in return, she helped me understand when I was being helpful and when I was allowing people to exploit me. Over twenty years down the line, our relationship dynamics have changed in multiple ways, but we still turn to each other in times of trouble, to gain a perspective contrary to our own, and to deal with problems by vocalizing and discussing them. Friendships last when built on mutual respect.
Of Friendship Bands And Beachside Chats
While studying engineering, I shared accommodation with girls from various streams of learning. It broadened our horizons and opened our eyes to many challenges we faced on different educational paths.
The laughter I shared with those girls and the stories we laughed and cried over still mark the best days of my life.
Hours spent on the rooftop, the evening breeze blowing, songs and samosas, serious talk intermingled with the most ridiculous moments.
If nostalgia is bliss, this is mine.
Many years later, we keep reconnecting and try to meet up with as many of our core group as possible. We still have tremendous love for each other and faith in our enduring relationship, but our responsibilities and obligations often prevent us from recreating the carefree old days. That’s when we realize the importance of evolution and growth. Friendships, like all relationships, evolve and take on various forms as we advance with them.
Women Gangs: Not A Fad, But A Necessity
I studied in a co-ed school and had plenty of friends of both genders. My parents, strict in their own way, never stopped me from inviting any of them over or having animated discussions over schoolbooks, drama rehearsals, or music. I grew up in an atmosphere of equality, something I am extremely proud of.
But as we grow older, we need a band of women—a tribe to call our own. These friends party with us, share a drink, have fun with us, attend our children’s birthdays, and so on. They are also the ones who pick up the phone at ungodly hours to listen to us vent about office politics, meet us at roadside stalls to sift through cheap trinkets without judgment, and are equally comfortable having an adda session at a roadside tea stall or a five-star buffet.
We need them to tell us when we’re losing self-esteem and when we’re being utterly self-righteous and need to step down from our high horse.
These friends are more than family—they are the bonds that tie us to reality and also give us wings to help our dreams soar.
It’s Not What We Have, But Who We Have
Winnie the Pooh once said, “It’s not what we have, but who we have.” So true. We are blessed to have the friends we do. At the end of my days, if I have ten genuine friends by my side, I will consider my time on this earth well spent.
So here’s to friendship! Here’s to finding on this earth the same type of crazy! To get our tribe and stick to it.
Happy Friends Day… today and every day!
Manobina Nanda Ganguly
Manobina is a Computer Engineer by profession, working for over two decades. An avid reader since childhood, she loves reading both fictions and non fictions. She can be reached at manobina@gmail.com.
Facebook Comments