The Contradictions of February
Whoever invented the month of February certainly has a few things to answer for, although that is purely my point of view. I have a grouse against this month.
February is the month that weans us away from the cosy embrace of winter and leads us into the vortex of a typical hot Kolkata summer.
February is the month when our rather heavy hearts and minds have gradually limped back to normal after the excitement of festivals and new beginnings.
February is the month when a warm wind from the southern seas weaves its way stealthily across the land and fills our homes.
But then, February is also about love and hope and everything that keeps us going and so I choose to stop cribbing.
Marks and Mayhem
I am a teacher and my February woes wrap themselves around me in the form of question papers and answer scripts that my kids so painstakingly churn out for me. Some are brilliant, while some make me doubt what I know. Exams are a pain – for the kids, their parents and the teachers. Often, while I plod through answer scripts, I wonder at the logic of determining a child’s success through a set of marks earned from a two-hour-long paper. Weird, but that is how it works.
Blooming Beyond The Numbers
The heartening thing is that there are a lot of kids who never scored high marks in their examinations but are doing extremely well in their chosen fields. Marks do not matter but then I guess they are a necessary evil and so, as a teacher I do my bit to help kids cope with it. There are extensive revision and remedial classes along with counselling sessions for nervous souls who go through panic attacks and sleepless nights. We cope – my kids and I, and when March arrives, I am quite satisfied with the marks that are printed on their report cards.
There are other things too.
The Shadow of Loss
February was the month, exactly thirteen years ago, when I was coming to terms with the vacuum created by the passing away of Mummy. She passed away at the end of January and we – my sisters and I were busy trying to put our lives together, treading slowly along the path that lay ahead. It wasn’t easy but we moved on, carrying with us, her legacy and the lessons she had taught us. The vacuum has now become a sweet space filled with comforting memories.
Fickle Tales of February
February is a strange month. You are never too sure if it is cool or warm. The mornings trick you into donning a light stole when you leave home, only to force you to throw it off an hour later. It is annoying, to say the least. Don’t wear that stole and you are bound to catch a chill. Turn on the fan and you are uncomfortable. Turn it off and you begin to feel the warmth creeping through your clothes. Talk about vagaries – February has plenty of them.
Warmth of Love
And yet I embrace February. It is the bridge between the beginning and the rest of the year. It is the month when lovers celebrate their love, no matter how much of a cliché it may seem to the cynics. Lovers believe in their love and that is what matters. I have never really celebrated the big V Day but it is nice to see people in love, queuing up at gift shops and coffee shops to celebrate their love.
Twelve Tales to Tell
I embrace February – because it gives me ten more months to work on the plans and aspirations I have had at the outset of the year. Last year, I had a huge writer’s block and barely wrote two stories. This year, I promised myself that I would go deep into myself and scoop out thoughts and pen them down. I have been working on that. Twelve stories this year would be a good number. Two have already been written and have made their way to two writing platforms.
Finding Beauty in February
❤️I embrace February, because I have learnt that time moves along in cyclic patterns and that the December I love will come again.
❤️I have learnt that there is beauty in everything and despite the shadow of pain that hangs over February, I could still learn to love it and grow through it.
❤️I embrace February because I have no choice and it is better to celebrate each day, no matter how tough it may seem – because we are responsible for our happiness.
❤️Most importantly, February is just a month, like any other and I have the freedom to fill it up with as many memories as I want to.
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