Being Women

 Friends Forever: An Ode to Chandler Muriel Bing

“Friends” star Matthew Perry was found dead Saturday in a hot tub at his Los Angeles home. A fan pens down a heartfelt note.

How it all began

I don’t exactly remember when I started watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. It might have been during the early 2000s when we had Asianet’s “Cable TV,” and I used to watch many English channels like Star World/ Star Movies, Hallmark, HBO, TNT, Zee English etc. I was enthralled by shows like Full House, Small Wonder, Blossom, Saturday Night Live, Mr. Bean, The X-Files, Seinfeld, Scrubs, ER, and others. Yet, among them all, Friends held a special place in my heart. Its characters felt strikingly relatable as I ventured into the real world as an independent adult in my twenties.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. was therapeutic

Over time, friends became my “therapy”. Binge-watching a few episodes would always put me in a good mood, and give me a fresh boost to get back to the battles of everyday life. So much so, that I passed on the interest to my young daughter, who was in elementary school at the time. Today she is a college student, but we still binge-watch Friends together. Our daily conversations are peppered with witty Friends references and most of the memes we share feature Chandler or Joey !! She’s every bit the Friends fan I am – how many shows can boast that kind of timeless appeal? Could it BE any more special?

Relatable characters

I found relatable elements in characters like Rachel, trying to find a foothold in the world after being raised like a princess, and Monica, a cleanliness-obsessed people-pleaser with past body insecurities. If I had to choose a favourite character, it would be Joey, but Chandler runs a close second by a slim margin. I loved his chemistry with Joey more than his relationship with Monica (lol, come on, I’m sure you’d agree). Each time they realize something interesting, and he looks at Joey waiting till it clicks in Joey’s head – those scenes were hilarious !! And, let’s not forget the comedic brilliance of his interactions with Janice – oh. my.Gawd, a laugh riot!

Humour – a crucial element in life

Chandler was a significant influence on my development of sarcasm. Chandler taught me to find humour in every challenge and laugh through the tough times, making life more bearable. He was also a master of making light of difficult situations, which is something I’ve always admired. He taught me to diffuse emotional situations with a poor joke witty comebacks or deadpan sarcasm. Remember his dialogue, “I am not great at advice; can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – well that became my mantra in many of my interactions, especially on social media. (my friends would vouch for that) . 

The Chandler we grew to love

*The one who brought Chandler to life – Matthew Perry was not only Chandler Muriel Bing; he was also a mature actor who took on serious roles. I loved his portrayal of a dad in “17 Again” and the teacher, Mr Clark, in a film where he transforms a class of unruly kids into achievers (Can’t remember the name).

The truth behind the smile

When the Friends cast reunited last year, I was ecstatic. It was a journey back in time. I laughed with them, and cried with them – it was such an emotional episode for all loyal Friends fans. But honestly, seeing Matthew Perry at the Reunion made me so sad !! That’s probably the first time I realized the personal struggles Matthew Perry had faced, particularly related to alcoholism. He had always been the witty and sarcastic Chandler to us, so I hadn’t considered the other side of his life. Nevertheless, his wit remained intact, especially when he delivered the last line  – “Where?” That single word evoked both laughter and sadness, a testament to his unique talent.

Chandler/Mathew – the friend I have always known!

I was saddened when Robin Williams passed away, given the immense joy he had brought to my life and the profound irony that the man who made everyone happy suffered from loneliness and depression! However, Matthew Perry’s loss feels even harder to bear because he has been a “friend” for the past couple of decades. My mind refuses to accept his absence because he has always been on my mobile and TV screens, and he will continue to be there, forever.

Dear Matthew Perry,

It’s hard to believe you are gone, but your legacy will live on, in your hilarious one-liners and iconic moments you graced on screen. I’m grateful for the laughter and joy that you brought into my life. Your memory will live on in my heart and the hearts of millions of other Friends fans around the world. 

You were simply the best – our “Transpondster,” Mrs. Chanandler Bong. 

In his memory, I share some of his legendary lines. See if you can recall the episode, scene, or context:

“Well, maybe he was nervous”

“Baby caterpillar chasing its mama”

“How many cameras are actually on you?”

“SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UPPPP”

“My diamond shoes are too tight”

“Whoop-aaah!”

“Was that place THE SUN?”

“I’m sorry; we don’t have your sheep!”

“What did the police say?”

“And yet I never run into Beyonce”

Matthew Perry, you will be deeply missed.

– A fan

DEEPA PERUMAL

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