The New Beginning

In a society where the birth of a girl often prompts parents to worry more about saving for her marriage than investing in her education, the narrative of a woman’s life seems predetermined. Add to this the societal obsession with being the “perfect” mother, where raising children without any perceived mistakes becomes an unwritten rule. If a child falters, the blame often falls squarely on the mother’s shoulders.

When a girl gets married, she is told she is finally moving to “her own house.”

Phrases like Ab tum apne ghar ki ho gayi ho make it seem as though the house where she was born and raised is no longer hers.

She becomes an outsider, both in her parental home and in her in-laws’ house. As the new bahu, she is expected to manage everything seamlessly—but without being too authoritative or domineering. Blessed are the women who, even after marriage, retain the freedom to make their own choices and receive love and support from their parents, partners, and in-laws.

However, for most women in Indian households, the reality is starkly different. Upon entering her in-laws’ home, a woman is often expected to take charge of everything. Her ability to manage household tasks becomes a reflection of her upbringing. If the roti isn’t perfectly round or if she doesn’t meet the expectations of her partner or in-laws, the blame inevitably shifts to her parents, with remarks like, Aree, iske maa-baap ne toh isko kuch nahi sikhaya.

Even today, girls are often raised to be good wives and mothers, not individuals with their own identities. Women are placed on pedestals of perfection, where making mistakes isn’t an option. Despite being told that their husband’s house is their “real” home, many women find they have no real say in the household. They are expected to conform to their husband’s and in-laws’ wishes, maintaining the image of a docile, submissive daughter-in-law, which society deems “ideal.”

The decision to become a mother is often not the woman’s own. It is dictated by factors like age, societal expectations, and the pressure to contribute to the family lineage. Even as mothers, women are often told that childcare is their primary responsibility, while fathers’ contributions are largely financial, as nurturing isn’t seen as “manly.”

This irony is stark in a culture that reveres Bharat Maa while deeply rooting patriarchy in its fabric.

Women should be allowed the space to make mistakes and learn from them. Guidance should come not just from mothers but from society at large, without judgment or bias. Women have their own identities and should be recognized as individuals first, rather than solely as someone’s wife or mother.

Marriage and motherhood are often heralded as “new beginnings,” but a woman becoming independent is rarely celebrated in the same way. Even financially independent women may still feel compelled to seek their husband’s permission to spend their own money. Every woman should strive for financial independence and emotional self-reliance. Having a house built with her own hard work ensures that, if life takes an unexpected turn, she has a sanctuary to call her own.

While new beginnings bring changes, they don’t always lead to personal growth. Roles like wife and mother are often centered on maintaining a household, sidelining a woman’s personal identity. Society fears independent women who make their own decisions. True new beginnings should be about personal evolution and embracing challenges on one’s own terms, free from the constant burden of log kya kahenge.

Whatever new changes life brings, embrace them your way.

Mistakes are part of growth—they teach us to rise stronger. New beginnings should focus on becoming a more evolved person who tackles challenges with confidence and resolve. Prioritize your happiness and well-being, free of guilt or the need for validation.

Life may not always align with your expectations, but it’s your journey. You have the power to take your life in a new direction. This New Year, focus on rediscovering yourself. Learn to love who you are, and embrace the New You.

Sonali Swain

Sonali Swain is a Freelance Content writer from Delhi. She wishes to be an IFS Officer and is preparing for the Civil Services currently. She can be reached at sonaliankita18@gmail.com.